Thank God for Massachusetts

Unfortunately, I am not unfamiliar with Centre County, Pennsylvania, home of the Penn State University Scandal.

Last March, a few friends and I had spent the last week traveling through the mid west.  We were on our way home, cruising U.S.A through the boonies of Pennsylvania when I was awoken from a deep slumber by my friend.  We were being pulled over.  It was about 7:00 AM.  The RV we had rented had a break light out.  Talk about a simple twist of fate.  That little bitch of a break light ended up costing me my dignity, and my respect and hope for this country and the human race, not to mention the thousands of dollars (literally) it ended up costing me.  To make a relatively long story short, we had a small amount of that green stuff on us.  Small enough that it would warrant only a fine in Massachusetts equivalent to a parking ticket.  The policeman suspected such because he saw something on our driver's (my friend's) shirt that he described as "some sort of green vegetable matter" (he really has a way with words, that guy).  We gave him the small amount that we had and were cited for possession.

So on the ride home I'm thinking, "Alright, maybe we get a fine or something in the mail, pay it off and be on our way."  You know, the way it should be.  But we couldn't have picked a worse state for this kind of thing to happen in.  I clearly hadn't been hipped to the ideals and mindset of good ol' western PA, because a month later we were all summoned back to court in Centre County, PA.  I had to get a lawyer, I had to rent a car, hotel, and take time off from work to travel the eight and a half hours back to that location of the spawn of the dregs of our once great nation.  That was the first of three trips we had to make back out there; once more for an actual hearing, and once more for a day of community service because it had to be done in that county since that's where the incident took place, not Massachusetts.  Believe me when I tell you that I'd never do you no harm! that I will never set foot in that state again if I can manage it.

They say there's no substitute for experience, and that first arraignment day in court was a learning experience if nothing else.  It was the first and hopefully only time in my life ever having been on that side of things.  When I say that the court room was filled, I mean it was filled with young guys and girls like ourselves, quite a few of them who were students from Penn State.  All similar "crimes" as my friends and I; minor possession, underage drinking, etc., and all paying the same thousands of dollars in court fees and fines that we were paying.

These are the types of things that Centre County, PA puts its stock into.  Oh no, you're not going to smoke weed or underage drink in their county!  Buuuuuuuuuut, football coaches raping ten year old boys in football locker rooms ain't that big of a deal.  That's not even an exaggeration of what these people think.  A graduate assistant was walking through the locker room showers late at night when he witnessed former Penn State football coach Jerry Sandusky anally raping a child, and the assistant reported this exact information to Penn State University's Athletic Director Tim Curly and Senior Vice President for Finance and Business, Gary Schultz.  A court case was opened, and these two dickheads testified and were asked if the graduate assistant had reported to them "sexual conduct" "of any kind" by Sandusky.  Curly answered, "No" twice.  They were also asked if the grad assistant had reported "anal sex between Sandusky and the child" in which Curly responded, "Absolutely not."  Do you hear that low humming sound?  That's my blood boiling.

Paterno's reaction when one of his player makes a bad play.

Paterno's reaction when he finds out his assistant coach is banging
ten year old boy's in the locker room shower.  "What else do you want me to do?  
I told my superiors."  Uhhh, how about going to the police?
Wait, I forgot, you've been entrenched in the bowels of Pennsylvania for the last half century,
you don't have any common sense.  My B, JoePa!

Two things on my mind here:

1) Either these two men sludge-pits are in on it somehow and don't want to get caught or,
2) They care that much about Penn State's reputation that they were willing to sacrifice a young boy to a wolf like Sandusky to save face.

Either way, these two should burn in Hades personal lair for all eternity.  And I'm positive that they will.  In fact, I think I just became more religious.  I mean, there has to be an afterlife of eternal suffering just for pieces of excrement like these, right?  If not, you need to get your shit together, God, no pun intended.

 

I think the most frightening thing about the whole Penn State scandal to me is how it could continue to happen for so long in such populated places in major public settings.  Take a look at the map above.  If these types of events are going on in the middle of Penn State, what the hell sort of things are taking place in the dark areas of the map that make up more than half of our country?  Makes me shudder.  Makes me want to hop in one of Rufus's phone booths, shoot back in time to the War of 1812 so I could assassinate Andrew Jackson before he's able to win the Battle of New Orleans in hopes that the Essex Junto might actually succeed.

You just had to save New Orleans, didn't-cha Old Hickory?

It is very easy to take a look at the city of Boston and point out everything that sucks about it, what with all its bro-ness and over-the-top sport emphaticism.  But until you've spent extended time in areas like Bellfonte, Pennsylvania, you really take our city for granted.  I'm more than content when I stop to think of how fortunate I am to have been born and raised in this area of the world.  I love the northeast.  I'll take New York and Boston over any other cities that I've been to up until this point in my life.  Boston has it's fair share of slime for sure, but what do we really emphasize?  I like to think it's things like culture, music, strong work ethic, education, family, and not to be underestimated, the importance of common sense.  And we don't waste time and resources on issues like whether or not gay people should be able to marry, or tie up our courts with our college youth by penalizing them for committing acts accepted by society as a whole that every other normal person their age are participating in.

"We are Penn State!"  Correct.  You are a bunch of a douche bags that should be thrown into a massive blender, chopped up into a stew, and fed to the dogs that have more integrity than you could ever hope to have.