Leaders of Men: Bennett - Australian Accented US Commando

The 1980s were a crazy place.  All former US commandos had foreign accents and South American military coups occurred on every other Thursday.  If you wanted to start a South America Gov't, you covered yourself in marmalade, impersonated Scarface, and extorted some local banana companies.  Sometimes you had to recruit the best guy to start the takeover, and that's where Bennett could help.

While most mortals feared the wrath of John Matrix, the baddest ever Austrian-born U.S. Commando, Bennett kidnapped Matrix' daughter and extorted him into service.  Bennett had confidence in his protective gear--a tank top of leather and medieval body armor, accompanied with some stylish weight-lifting gloves. Apparently, Bennett took pride in his figure, which resembled that of a middle-aged lesbian.

"Let's make this snappy.  I have Judas Priest tickets."

"You're going to pay me how much to be the dad in Clueless?" 

Seriously, who did the fucking casting for this movie? I imagine it went something like this:


Producer 1: "OK guys we need an intimidating villain that's believable as a former badass U.S. Commando."

Casting Director: "How about we find a flabby Australian guy and dress him up like a gay S&M sex slave?"

Producer 1: "Perfect. But who can we get to play the power-hungry South American dictator attempting a coup?"

Casting Director: "I have just the guy.  He's a Jew from New York.  We'll cover him in shoe polish and make him talk like Speedy Gonzalez."

Producer 1: "Genius.  What's are we paying this guy?!  Let's double it!"

"On second thought, let's just forget this ever happened."

Although Bennett gives a good fight, John Matrix is un-fucking-stoppable. I have to give him credit, it's like watching a sloth fight a lion.  "Let out some steam.."