One Talentless Unemployed Millionaire I Actually Feel Bad For

My god, look at that monster.  Please meet Alexa Ray Joel, the daughter of Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley.  This was perhaps the biggest coin flip for physical DNA in the history of the world. Prior to her birth, a bodiless soul wandered around heaven wondering whether it's phsyical earth vehicle would be tall beautiful Brinkley or sad piano-toad Billy Joel.  I imagine a craps game that plays out like the following:

Soul: "C'mon Brinkley, gimme some Brinkley!  Anything but those creepy toad eyes!!"...Rolls dice

Dealer: "Joel eyes.  Craps."

Soul: [uncontrolled sobbing]

Based on her self-serving wikipedia page, it seems young Alexa has also followed her father's career path (not that following her mother's was really an option).  Her debut EP, Sketches, was met with much hilarity from fans and critics alike.  In 2009 she tried to overdose on fake ibuprofen, but a doctor told her it was impossible to do so because fake ibuprofen has no active ingredient.  This traumatic experience should provide some great song-writing pain, and I can't wait for her follow up to Sketches.  Alexa is also the face of Prell shampoo--which probably doesn't exist.  I'm surprised she hasn't signed on with a ski goggle or welder's mask company because those products could solve more problems for her.



It's hard being a talentless millionaire

Here is yet another example of some celebrity's kid that, without their parents millions, would be hanging out at some food court wearing goth clothes.