Have you ever had to wizz so bad in public, but there are just no toilets around? Read on for a pair of scenarios and creative ways for you to get around this problem:
Scenario 1: You are in the middle of a crowded field at a concert after 14 beers.
Solution: The Tony Pena. Most folks know Tony Pena for his catching prowess and dirt stache. He also gives you an important lesson on how to take a piss by looking at his catching stance. Just unzip the fly, crouch into a catching stance, and kick your leg out for steadiness and style points as you hose down the hippie's Birkenstocks in front of you.
Scenario 2: You are 73 years old and have an overactive bladder combined with the fact that you just drank 3 ginger ales on the golf course. Currently you are waiting for the people on the tee box to hit with no trees or porto-potties around.
Solution: The Soccer Camp pose. Turn away, take a knee and smile for the camera as the stream flows discreetly. That smile ain't going nowhere neither, as your trouser pockets are filled with viagra and Henrietta's back at home shirtless with her wrinkly titties out waiting by the door to greet you after 18 holes.
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