A Day in the Life of Meek Meek D'amico
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| Who's in the mood for Cucumber Flirtinis!?! |
6:15 AM: Breakfast - Dry wheat toast, two scoops protein powder and one raw egg. Blend ingredients and pour on the nearest liberal. Breakfast was invented by pussies that hate being early for work.
6:20 AM: Commute to work - Walk uphill to bus, ride bus down hill to other bus. Stand up in aisle of empty bus for 35 minutes. Seats are for pussies that wear gay uncomfortable shoes. White Air Force Ones all day kid.
6:50 AM: Arrive to work - Work diligently and stay amicable with lazy incompetent co-workers.
10:15 AM: Coffee Break - This would never happen.
12:00 PM: Lunch - Plain turkey on white bread with side of baby carrots. Condiments are for pussies that feel pain.
2:45 PM: Social Preparation - Read articles discussing events considered popular among inferior coworkers.
3:00 PM: Social Engagement - Make small talk with inferior coworkers about recent local and national sporting events and pop-culture topics. If humor is detected, attempt to "smile" and "laugh" as is customary among mortals.
5:00 PM: Shopping - Prepare for weekend vacation with long-known mortal non-coworker friends. Purchase fattening foods and poisoning drinks to further weaken fellow vacationers. If vacationers ask, the breakfast balls are a family recipe.
6:00 PM: Vacation Departure - Depart for solitary four hour drive to Killington, do not blink more than five times during the ride. Blinking is for pussies that rely on vision.
10:00 PM: Vacation Arrival - Arrive at vacation house, act jovial. Encourage consumption of life-shortening foods and beverages.
2:00 AM - Sleep - Prior to sleep, prepare list of foreseeable weaknesses among vacationers, and a plan to exploit them.
4:45 AM - Social Advancement - Awake and clean entire kitchen to garner praise from female vacationers. Relish in resentment from male vacationers.
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