While most mortals feared the wrath of John Matrix, the baddest ever Austrian-born U.S. Commando, Bennett kidnapped Matrix' daughter and extorted him into service. Bennett had confidence in his protective gear--a tank top of leather and medieval body armor, accompanied with some stylish weight-lifting gloves. Apparently, Bennett took pride in his figure, which resembled that of a middle-aged lesbian.
"Let's make this snappy. I have Judas Priest tickets." |
"You're going to pay me how much to be the dad in Clueless?" |
Seriously, who did the fucking casting for this movie? I imagine it went something like this:
Producer 1: "OK guys we need an intimidating villain that's believable as a former badass U.S. Commando."
Casting Director: "How about we find a flabby Australian guy and dress him up like a gay S&M sex slave?"
Producer 1: "Perfect. But who can we get to play the power-hungry South American dictator attempting a coup?"
Casting Director: "I have just the guy. He's a Jew from New York. We'll cover him in shoe polish and make him talk like Speedy Gonzalez."
Producer 1: "Genius. What's are we paying this guy?! Let's double it!"
"On second thought, let's just forget this ever happened." |
I love how the steel drums heighten imagery of despair and confusion. so much tension...
ReplyDelete